Team Tiger Launch “High-Visibility” PR Week As New Orange Kit Causes International Incident
Team Tiger Launch “High-Visibility” PR Week As New Orange Kit Causes International Incident
Team Tiger’s much-anticipated new playing attire was unveiled this week, and within minutes of the first orange polo being pulled over a middle-aged torso, the Portuguese authorities were reportedly on the phone.
What began as a simple team kit launch quickly escalated into a full-scale public service campaign, with Team Tiger drafted into emergency duties across Portugal, UK retail, aviation, waste management and, somehow, soft drink promotion.
The shirts are bright. Very bright. So bright, in fact, that witnesses have described them as “less golf apparel, more emergency infrastructure.”
One bystander at Pinhal was heard saying:
“I thought they were marking out a temporary cycle lane. Then one of them topped a hybrid into a bunker and I realised it was Team Tiger.”
Phase One: Portugal Bin Strike Support
The week began with Team Tiger answering the call during Portugal’s local bin strikes.
With waste collection disrupted and golf courses keen to maintain their premium appearance, Team Tiger were deployed across the Algarve as mobile hazard markers, temporary waste operatives and general orange-based visibility solutions.
Their new shirts proved so effective that several golf courses have now reportedly started removing bins altogether.
A course official explained:
“Why would we need bins when we’ve got Team Tiger? They’re orange, round, easy to spot from 250 yards and already spend most of the day near rubbish shots.”
Nick Gumm was believed to be central to the operation, seen lying beside several black bin bags while clutching a copy of How to Improve Your Short Game.
When asked whether he was resting or working, Gumm replied:
“Bit of both really. I was monitoring waste levels, conserving energy and studying chapter three on chipping. Unfortunately I fell asleep somewhere between ‘grip pressure’ and ‘basic competence’.”
Team Tiger later confirmed that their official bin strike support duties included “course preservation, waste awareness and standing still long enough to be mistaken for council equipment.”
Phase Two: EasyJet Cabin Crew Reinforcements
Following their success in waste management, Team Tiger were immediately approached by EasyJet, the tournament’s unofficial travel sponsor and fellow orange enthusiast.
With cabin crew shortages hitting peak travel chaos, EasyJet identified the Tigers as a natural fit: loud shirts, forced smiles and already accustomed to serving drinks after nine holes.
Team Tiger personnel were quickly placed on board selected flights to Portugal, offering refreshments, safety demonstrations and unsolicited advice on wedge selection.
One passenger said:
“I asked for a coffee and he handed me an orange cup, a scorecard and told me my short game needed work. I didn’t even know him.”
Gumm, again heavily involved, reportedly embraced the role.
“It felt natural,” he said. “The passengers were strapped in, couldn’t escape, and had to listen to me talk about golf. That’s basically a society dinner.”
However, the trial was not without problems. EasyJet management raised concerns after Tiger staff were found replacing the in-flight magazine with How to Improve Your Short Game, and announcing turbulence as “a bit like Richard’s putting stroke — unpredictable, but survivable.”
Despite this, feedback was positive.
A spokesperson allegedly said:
“They were visible, enthusiastic and impossible to lose in the aisle. Unfortunately, they kept shouting ‘drinks buggy’ instead of ‘cabin trolley’, but we’re working on it.”
Phase Three: B&Q Away Day
By midweek, Team Tiger had moved into the DIY sector after materials and supplies partner B&Q invited the squad to a local depot for a high-profile “Team Tiger Away Day.”
The concept was simple: orange shirts, orange branding, power tools, timber and three men pretending they knew what a raw plug was.
The players were positioned at key locations around the store, welcoming customers, pointing vaguely at aisle signs and offering deeply questionable building advice.
Paul Ticehurst was placed near the screws section, where he was seen proudly holding a box of multi-purpose screws like he’d just won the Masters.
“This is what elite preparation looks like,” said Paul. “Measure twice, putt once. That’s the motto. I’ve no idea what these screws do, but they look important and they match the shirt.”
Richard Ashby, stationed near timber with a golf glove and a trolley full of clubs, was asked whether he was there for DIY or golf.
“Same thing,” Richard replied. “Drive it, nail it, putt it. I’ve been living by that for years. Mainly the ‘nail it’ bit, because my putting is still under review.”
The visit ended with a bonding session in the decking aisle, where the Tigers were encouraged to reflect on team values, personal goals and how many sheets of MDF would be required to rebuild their confidence after Round One.
A B&Q customer later said:
“I asked where the paint brushes were and one of them told me Tiger were going to win 5–0. I just wanted emulsion.”
Phase Four: Irn-Bru Drinks Supplier Activation
Just when the PR week appeared to have peaked, Team Tiger announced a new partnership with drinks supplier Irn-Bru, after both parties agreed they shared the same core values: bright orange, maximum visibility and the ability to leave a lasting impression whether people asked for it or not.
The Tigers arrived at the promotional stand in full orange kit, instantly blending into the product display. Several members of the public reportedly tried to scan them as part of a “two for par” meal deal.
Organisers described the activation as “bold, energetic and highly visible,” while Team Spider sources called it “three grown men dressed as fizzy pop.”
The campaign slogan was unveiled above the stand:
Team Tiger x Irn-Bru: Made From Girders. Played From The Rough.
Simon Harris reportedly took the role seriously, proudly holding up a can like it was the Claret Jug.
“People think this is just banter,” Simon said. “But this is elite-level preparation. Irn-Bru is orange, powerful and built from girders. Team Tiger are orange, powerful and built from optimism, hamstrings and poor shot selection.”
Paul Ticehurst was asked whether the drink would form part of the team’s official tournament nutrition plan.
“Absolutely,” said Paul. “A can before the round, one at the turn, and another after every three-putt. So realistically, we’ll need wholesale supply.”
Richard Ashby, wearing one golf glove and standing dangerously close to an orange cooler full of cans, said the partnership made perfect sense.
“People say Irn-Bru gets you through. That’s exactly what Team Tiger need. Something to get us through the front nine, the back nine and Nick explaining his approach shot on the 14th.”
The activation also included a “Birdies & Bru” promotion, although witnesses confirmed no birdies were actually required after the Tigers complained this would “unfairly limit stock movement.”
Nick Gumm, still recovering from cabin crew duties, was reportedly removed from the tasting area after attempting to pair Irn-Bru with mini cheddars, a protein bar and chapter six of How to Improve Your Short Game.
A drinks supplier representative commented:
“We wanted a team that represented the Irn-Bru look and feel. Bright, bold, impossible to ignore and occasionally difficult to explain. Team Tiger were the obvious choice.”
By the end of the day, Team Spider had already prepared a counter-campaign slogan:
Made From Girders. Swinging Like Curtains.
Team Tiger Defend The Kit
Despite widespread ridicule, Team Tiger have defended the new attire, insisting the orange look is bold, modern and intimidating.
A senior Tiger source said:
“The kit sends a message. It says we’re confident, united and available for temporary traffic management.”
Paul Ticehurst added:
“People are laughing now, but when we’re walking down the first fairway looking like a B&Q loyalty scheme with handicaps, they’ll know we mean business.”
Richard Ashby was equally defiant:
“Orange is a power colour. It says danger. It says energy. It says I might be here to fix your fence. Either way, you’ll see me coming.”
Nick Gumm, still recovering from his cabin crew deployment, summed it up best:
“At the end of the day, Team Spider can say what they like. We’ve helped the bins, supported aviation, inspired DIY customers and secured official fizzy drink backing. What have they done? Apart from dress like a midlife crisis in pink?”
Spider Camp Responds
Sources close to Team Spider were said to be “absolutely delighted” with the developments.
One unnamed Spider insider commented:
“We were worried the Tigers might look sharp this year. Then they unveiled the kit and accidentally became a public sector resource.”
Another added:
“They’re calling it a PR week. We’re calling it evidence.”
Team Spider are expected to make full use of the images across social media, WhatsApp groups, posters, stickers, pre-round speeches, post-round presentations and possibly legal proceedings.
Final Word
What was meant to be a slick kit launch has become something much bigger: a multi-sector orange outreach programme spanning bins, planes, timber and carbonated beverages.
Team Tiger may claim they are ready for battle.
But after a week spent serving tea at 30,000 feet, guarding Dulux, rescuing bins and standing beside pallets of Irn-Bru like limited-edition promotional stock, serious questions remain.
Are they golfers?
Are they cabin crew?
Are they B&Q weekend staff?
Are they a soft drink activation team with handicaps?
Nobody knows.
But one thing is certain:
When Team Tiger arrive in Portugal, nobody will need a marshal to find them.
They’ll be visible from space.
And probably full of Irn-Bru.