After the emotional damage and physical deterioration of Day One at Pinhal, the Spider vs Tiger Tour rolled into Millennium Golf Course for Round Two — and several players looked like...
After the emotional damage and physical deterioration of Day One at Pinhal, the Spider vs Tiger Tour rolled into Millennium Golf Course for Round Two — and several players looked like they’d barely survived the transfer.
Reports from the previous evening suggest preparations for Day Two may not have been entirely performance focused.
There were late nights.
There was dancing.
There was red wine.
Far too much red wine.
And somehow, 16 golfers still turned up to compete.
PRE-ROUND INCIDENT REPORT
Alan “Obie” Obern
Eyewitnesses confirmed Obie spent large portions of the evening dancing like a man who’d mistaken Vilamoura for Ibiza circa 1999.
Energy levels were incredibly high considering nobody could remember him actually drinking water at any point.
Questions remain over how his knees survived the evening.
Barry Tucker
Baz arrived at dinner already carrying the confidence of a Day One hero.
Unfortunately, the evening took a dark turn when he became increasingly unhappy with his meal selection. Sources close to the Tiger camp described him as “visibly disappointed” throughout service.
Despite this, Baz still somehow looked one of the freshest players the following morning — an infuriating development for everyone else.
Nick Gumm
Disaster.
Nick reportedly attacked the red wine with the enthusiasm of a man who believed hydration was optional.
By the end of the evening he was, according to multiple witnesses, “absolutely smashed,” with balance, volume control and coherent conversation all rapidly disappearing as the night progressed.
There are unconfirmed reports he attempted to analyse putting lines while holding an empty wine glass.
Cath Levell
Unfortunately for Cath, her seating arrangement placed her directly next to Nick Gumm for most of the evening.
This proved catastrophic.
What began as “just one glass” quickly escalated into a full red wine endurance event, with Cath eventually struggling to stay on her feet as the evening descended into chaos around her.
A brave effort simply making it to the first tee the following morning.
ROUND TWO LINE-UP — MILLENNIUM
With fragile bodies and questionable decision-making hanging over the event, captains unveiled their pairings for the second day’s 4BBB battles.
And there are some absolute belters.
MATCH 1
Greg Ticehurst & Glyn Broome
vs
Simon Harris & Barry Tucker
The Spiders send out steady operator Greg Ticehurst alongside debutant Glyn Broome, who impressed massively during the Day One comeback drama.
Standing opposite them is the Tiger pairing of Simon Harris and the in-form Barry Tucker.
The key question here:
Can Baz continue carrying the Tigers while Simon emotionally recovers from shaking hands before actually winning a match?
MATCH 2
Jason Sykes & Cath Levell
vs
Nick Gumm & Paul Ticehurst
Potentially the headline act of the morning.
Spider captain Jason Sykes partners Cath Levell in what could either become a tactical masterclass or a complete survival exercise depending on Cath’s remaining red wine levels.
Meanwhile, Nick Gumm somehow returns to action alongside Tiger captain Paul Ticehurst despite reports suggesting he may still have been spinning slightly at breakfast.
Paul will likely spend most of the round trying to keep both the match and Nick under control simultaneously.
MATCH 3
Dave Cunningham & Mark Neighbour
vs
Richard Ashby & Richard Turner
This one has serious sneaky-quality potential.
Dave Cunningham and Mark Neighbour bring consistency and calm for the Spiders, while Richard Ashby arrives with rare momentum after his golf game unexpectedly made an appearance on Day One.
Alongside him is Rick Turner, who quietly impressed during the Pinhal opener and will be desperate to land a point for the Tigers.
Could be tighter than many expect.
MATCH 4
Alan Obern & Sam Harris
vs
Jon Mackness & Richard Frayne
The final match carries genuine spice.
Obie returns after his late-night dance marathon and immediately gets thrown into battle alongside Sam Harris, whose relationship with Millennium’s turf maintenance team is already under close observation.
Waiting for them are Jon Mackness and Richard Frayne.
Mackers, still wounded after missing the chance to finally beat Obie on Day One, now gets another shot at revenge. Expect tension. Expect needle. Expect somebody muttering under their breath after every missed putt.
Frayne’s calm presence may prove vital if emotions boil over.
BIGGER PICTURE
With the overall standings finely balanced after Day One, Round Two suddenly feels massive.
The Spiders have momentum.
The Tigers have Baz.
Several players have hangovers.
And somewhere in Vilamoura, an innocent bottle of Portuguese red wine is still being blamed for at least half the field’s current condition.
Millennium awaits.