Before the final-day chaos awaiting at Laguna, seven of the tour’s “elite” golfers headed to the stunning Faldo Course at Amendoeira for a brutal exhibition round that quickly turned into a...
Before the final-day chaos awaiting at Laguna, seven of the tour’s “elite” golfers headed to the stunning Faldo Course at Amendoeira for a brutal exhibition round that quickly turned into a survival exercise.
While the remainder of the group sensibly rested, recovered and attempted to rehydrate ahead of the deciding day, the chosen few were thrown into one of the toughest tests of the week.
And Faldo showed absolutely no mercy.
With punishing bunkers, savage undulations, elevated tee shots, strong winds and mentally exhausted golfers barely holding themselves together after two days of tour carnage, scoring quickly became secondary to emotional survival.
Several players looked broken before the turn.
MEANWHILE, OFF THE COURSE…
Not everyone chose to suffer.
Nick Gumm remained at the hotel, where he reportedly spent much of the afternoon drunk while obsessively watching the live leaderboard updates, finding enormous entertainment in other people’s misery.
And thanks to the group WhatsApp chat, the players on course received a running commentary throughout the round.
At various stages Nick informed the group that:
- “Faldo himself” had apparently emailed him regarding the group’s pace of play
- the transfer may need moving back to 8pm because “some cunts are having a 6 hour round”
- and questioned whether Alan Obern’s blob on the 9th was due to “a dog leg right”
Useful support from afar.
Elsewhere, Dave Cunningham and Richard Turner ventured into Faro for a walking tour and a rare attempt at culture and sightseeing.
This immediately led to Richard Ashby questioning whether Rick was “actually capable of walking round Faro properly if it’s anything like his golf game.”
Others opted for quieter recovery missions around the marina and beach, preserving what little physical energy they still possessed ahead of Laguna.
THE FALDO EXPERIENCE
From the opening tee shot, it became obvious this was not going to be a day for low scoring.
The Faldo Course demanded precision, patience and mental discipline.
Unfortunately, very few players arrived with any of those things.
RICHARD ASHBY: FROM SHANKS TO FULL EXISTENTIAL CRISIS
After the horrors of Millennium, Richard Ashby arrived simply hoping not to shank the golf ball again.
Technically… mission accomplished.
Unfortunately, topping his opening tee shot on the 1st immediately set the tone for another difficult day.
What followed was a catalogue of questionable decisions, declining morale and increasingly dejected body language as Ashby limped to just 6 points on the front nine.
The walk between shots became slower.
The conversations became quieter.
The emotional damage became visible.
At one point, witnesses described him as looking like “a man actively regretting taking up golf.”
SIMON HARRIS & BARRY TUCKER STRUGGLE BADLY
After starring earlier in the trip, both Simon Harris and Barry Tucker found Faldo absolutely relentless.
Simon, in particular, endured a brutal day.
Breaking double figures on the front nine looked unlikely… and somehow the back nine wasn’t much better.
The previous evening’s now-infamous order of 16 Baby Guinness shots for 14 people — at considerable financial cost — appeared to catch up with him badly.
Several swings looked physically painful.
Baz also struggled badly with the conditions, producing a remarkable number of skied shots throughout the day. At times the ball spent so long in the air that nearby players genuinely looked capable of getting underneath them for a cricket catch.
Faldo was exposing everybody.
THE SPIDER TRIO CONTINUE TO DELIVER
While others collapsed around them, Jason Sykes, Greg Ticehurst and Mark Neighbour once again emerged as the class acts of the day.
Jason continued his annoyingly consistent form, grinding out another victory and further irritating the rest of the field, many of whom were desperately hoping fatigue would finally catch up with him.
It didn’t.
Greg once again produced steady golf throughout, while Mark continued his quietly impressive week with another strong performance under difficult conditions.
Alan Obern was also his usual steady self throughout the round, quietly picking up points while avoiding most of the chaos engulfing the rest of the field.
On a course where everyone else appeared mentally shattered, the Spider players simply managed the chaos better than most.
EXHIBITION RESULTS
🥇 Jason Sykes — 30 pts (£70)
Still somehow functioning. Still somehow winning.
🥈 Greg Ticehurst — 26 pts (£30)
Steady, composed and mentally stronger than most of the field.
🥉 Mark Neighbour — 25 pts (£20)
Another impressive showing in brutal conditions.
Other notable scores
- Alan Obern — 24 pts
- Barry Tucker — 21 pts
- Richard Ashby — 18 pts
- Simon Harris — 18 pts
Low scoring across the board perfectly reflected just how draining the Faldo test proved to be.
EXHIBITION DAY SUMMARY
- Faldo mentally destroyed large sections of the field
- Nick Gumm spent the day drunk, abusing the WhatsApp group from the hotel
- Dave and Rick went sightseeing in Faro
- Ashby avoided shanks but entered a fresh golfing crisis anyway
- Simon Harris was defeated by both Faldo and Baby Guinnesses
- Baz hit skied shots high enough to require a fielder underneath them
- Alan quietly accumulated points while others emotionally collapsed
- Jason Sykes continues to irritate everyone by remaining good at golf
And with the deciding day still to come…
nobody is fully intact anymore